In Which Homestuck Leads To My Mental Breakdown

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FUCK FUCK FUCK. ^CAKE

- Pfft. Everything about this is beautiful. Although, why are both of his cakes either carrot or pineapple? Not that I don’t approve, but wouldn’t a chocolate cake be easier?

- DAAAAAAAAVE!

- *snerk* ‘Bully’ is clearly Jake’s go-to mood.

TG: why did the fat kid or whoever drank it know what piss tasted like 
TG: i mean his reaction was nigh instantaneous 
EB: it was the 15th day in a row howie mandel peed in his juice. 
TG: ok i can accept that 
TG: monster B-list celebrity douchebags are cunning and persistent pranksters 

TG: also fred savage has a really punchable face

- I always thought he just knew it tasted terrible and made the worst assumption, but this makes sense. Head canon accepted, my good sir.

- Also, I really like seeing them be such stupid pre-teens.

In a kid’s yard, a tree without a tire swing is like a proper gentleman without a monocle. That is to say, HE CAN HARDLY BE CONSIDERED A TERRIBLY PROPER GENTLEMAN AT ALL.

- There you go, being all adorably dorky again. Stop it.

- Oh John, why such teenage angst? XD 

And now your chum is pestering you again. The clockwork of friendship turns ceaselessly, operating the swing-lever dealies of harassment in perpetuity

- Yes, that’s pretty much what friends are for sometimes: to bother you when you least want to talk to someone.

-BARD QUEST! BARD QUEST!

TG: my bro taught me a few tricks he basically knows everything and is awesome 

- Oh Dave… <3

- o_0 How would you fight with a hacky-sack though?

- This begs the question though: are there other humans playing Sburb? Other people clearly exist, but even with a terrible review in Game Bro, someone must have played it if it was shipped to them, and the kids are three days past the release date without the world ending. Did the beta only include the four copies, or was it just mass released and the first game to play got to live? At that, who sends the game in the first place?

- I would one hundred percent put all of the food in games on characters’ beds if I were allowed to. You know, just to see what happens.

- Doesn’t he find the randomly floating food a little strange though? HOW AM I ABLE TO CONTROL THIS?

In here you keep an array of humorous and mystical ARTIFACTS, each one a devastating weapon in the hands of a SKILLED MAGICIAN or a CUNNING PRANKSTER.

You are neither of these things.

XD

- Oh god, think of all the sweet things you could make with smoke and blood pellets. Espionage suit! Something that squirts out fake blood, blinding/possibly poisoning your opponent! Mirage inducers! The options are endless.

- Aww, Daaaaaaaad. <3

This is the dumbest idea you’ve had in weeks!!! 

STUPID STUPID STUPID. 

And yet the polished surface of your desk..

It beckons.

- No, John, don’t give in. Nooooooo…

- Dear fucking god, the nails and hammer WERE to put up a poster? John, there things, called ‘tack’ and ‘tape’. Perhaps you’ve heard of them; they help us post things on our walls without driving holes through everything involved.

Morgan Freeman’s genteel, homespun mannerisms were perfect qualities for a president residing over a crisis. 

OCEANS RISE. CITIES FALL. HOPE SURVIVES. 

WOW. 

Films about impending apocalypse fascinate you. Plus, a black president??? Now you’ve seen everything!

- … John, let me love you up. Seriously, you’re such an adorable little thing, I can’t even. All of the heart pieces for you.

- All right, here we go

- Oh my god, John’s little face… :3 Even his shirt grub disapproves.

-Why does he have nails and a hammer in his room anyway? I mean, putting posters up like that would be a terrible decision, but there isn’t really anything else he could use them for.

- Ooo, now that I think of it, the only movie out of those posters that hasn’t been used yet is Mac and Me, if you don’t count Tavros. I’m taking this to mean that shenanigans will one day transpire.

- Aww, I forgot that John is terrible with programming. XD

Why hello there, my peeps! How do you do, I am Bek and it’s closing in on my one year anniversary of discovering Homestuck.

Lately I’ve been following these fantastic read-throughs, and although I’m glad I got to experience everything in my own little bubble, it has left me a little sad that I didn’t liveblog my first time through, if only to document all of my initial reactions. So, I’ve decided that since I’m going to do my first reread, this is a perfect opportunity to rectify that.

Just a note: this will be a spoiler-friendly blog, partially because I’ve already read everything (even if I don’t remember it very well), but mostly because I’m a weirdo who likes spoilers. Also, if you think I’m missing something obvious in the plot or anything, feel free to yell.